and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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