we made out on top of his cat.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
