I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
