a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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