I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
