I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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