I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
