But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
