discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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