I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
