I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
zippers are such a cool invention
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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