thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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