if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need moral support for this bender
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
