awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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