Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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