TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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