Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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