Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
