i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
