yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You took a bar mat shot.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
