i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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