party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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