She said her name was "party"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
