I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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