dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
