Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
