from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
