I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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