wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
