Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
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