i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
