I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
