Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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