Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
