Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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