two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
