he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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