So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
