Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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