i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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