go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize