i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His nipple licking is glorious
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