that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
