Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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