I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
