Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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