the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
