piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
