I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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