I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
im on a boat
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