there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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