Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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