I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
