Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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