How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
