She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
