i jhust puked up my retainher.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
