An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
