seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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