Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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