Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
