Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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