"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
